The pressure to be positive
2 Jun 2008 by Wendi Lewis under NewsThere was an absolutely excellent article published in the New York Times over the weekend, written by Jan Hoffman, exploring the notion that people struggling with terminal illness, particularly cancer, like mesothelioma, should always present a brave face, a “fighting spirit.”
The author points out that celebrities like Patrick Swayze, who has pancreatic cancer, and Sen. Ted Kennedy, who has a brain tumor, are shown smiling, waving, even sailing off into the sunset - quite literally in Kennedy’s case - as they assure the public that they’re going to “beat” cancer.
This constant emphasis on maintaining a positive outlook is meant to encourage other cancer patients, to inspire them, to give them hope for the future. But sometimes it can have just the opposite effect, Hoffman says in the article, putting pressure on them to hide their fear, anger, resentment and exhaustion. They feel guilty, like they are letting people down when they show their true feelings.
The author talks to cancer survivors, doctors, social workers and psychologists about this culture of enforced hope. Read the full article, titled “When Thumbs Up Is No Comfort,” and let me know what you think. Has this happened to you? Do you struggle with this issue? When does encouragement cross the line and push you in the opposite direction, leaving you feeling bitter?
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